Saturday, November 12, 2005

An Apology to the former wife

Well it seems that Guppy's ex wife has Googled him and found me through him .In doing that she read the post where I was angry with her about lil one's refusal to use a public toilet.I wanted to take this time to apologize to her about getting angry and saying hurtful things.She was right about "God not liking UGLY" as she put it.I should have kept my opinion to myself and prayed about it.I was frustrated and angry and said things I shouldn't have.I do want to address some things while I am here though....
Here were the two comments she left me :
Anonymous said...

Maybe you are totally incorrect in what you think the problem is. How about not pointing the finger at her mom. What are you the evil Step Mom. You stupid BITCH! Your step daughter has NEVER went to public bathrooms easily since the first day she started being potty trained. It is a phobia that was not caused by her mom.

6:20 PM
I have taken Heather to public restrooms for a few years with no problems at all.She may have had issues when she was younger but I didn't know that because at four and five she was fine.

then
Anonymous said...

Well, I have known Heather and her "bitch mother" for about 10 years now and She has never said anything bad about you.... You must be ashamed (remember God doesn't like UGLY). I have personally taken Heather to a public bathroom and she goes just fine for me.... I wonder if you should point the finger at yourself instead of her mother. Since I have known her mother I have also known that she is not a phyco nor a bitch and maybe you should just settle in at second place and get over it. Or maybe if you gave her half a chance you would see the person that she really is and not rely on the comments of a bitter EX husband.


I wanted to say I never called her a bitch as it has been said a few times in this comment.I only got my opinion from what Heather told me herself.She would cry and say that she was scared because her mother scared her.She never changed that story after asking her several times.Guppy called Shawna and asked her if she knew what was up with that and she admitted to teasing her about it and said Heather teased her also.I do not form my opinions from her "bitter EX husband" .He is not even close to being bitter but instead very grateful to Shawna.He also does not talk ill of her..he chooses not to talk about her at all.I formed my obviously wrong opinion from little one and my observation, and for that I apologize.Second of all I am not competing for 1st,2nd, or 3rd place with Heather..That is not the case at all .I think she can be loved by everyone involved and that is great.I would never want to try and take the place of her mother.That is not cool nor would it be healthy for her.I am here to be the best stepmother I can be for her and help her grow to be a healthy,strong,emotionally stable adult.That is what I want.I do not want for this journey of raising her together,separately, to be a long bitter one at all.I have often admired Shawna for her strength to raise a little girl on her own.I know how hard it gets on this end at times with two of us.So please do not form an opinion of me(calling me evil and a stupid bitch) from one post that I wrote in anger and frustration( we had been very recently dealing with the potty issue)...I am sure God would not approve of that either.Also if you have the problem solved with taking Heather to the restroom please do share that ..I think for Heather's sake that would be beneficial to everyone involved.I also invite you to feel free to comment as much as you would like to on my blog but please do not hide behind an "Anonymous"...Be proud to show who you are if giving me your opinion.Thanks for sharing your views and please accept my apology :)

10 comments:

  1. Anonymous12:13 PM

    Apology accepted. Your attitude about little ones mom not forgotten. I want 1 thing from you - help this effort in co-parenting. It is turn of the century parenting and it is difficult. The more of this bad attitude I see the less I want to work together. Leave me alone on your blog, you don't know me well enough and obviously don't have anything good to say.

    For those bloggers reading - Little one's real mom kicks ass as a parent. Works hard and plays all the time with her daughter.

    For PresentStorm - The best trick I can find for little one's toilet fears is to ~ check out the toilets (are they scary) if yes ask her if she can hold it till you get home (give her an estimated amount of time) if she can't ~ try another facility's bathroom. I have also learned that you must ask her to go the bathroom before you leave the house or daycare. Mighty Mite did it correctly at Astroworld. It is the only way that works and she doesn't freak out but it takes patience. If you’re not dealing with the blood curdling screams or pee all over the floor it is easier to be patient finding the right bathroom.

    ReplyDelete
  2. to both anon and present storm
    if you both remember the most important thing in all of this is the little girl, things will work for everyone. you don't have to be best friends, all you have to be is civil to each other. this little girl actually wants both of you to get along. you both seem to want what's best for her, do your best to work on it.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Stormii, you are taking the brunt of something that you didn't start. It is great that you take the high road, though and apologized. You keep doing what you do best..love little one and her daddy. You are doing a GREAT job!!!
    Love you, girl!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Wow, I give you alot of credit for apologizing. In my view, you were venting and its YOUR blog, you have the right to say whatever you want. Even if its wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Well. Anonymous, I've been trying to figure out why anyone would want to read her ex-husband's wife's blog, especially without posting a comment saying Hey, I found your blog, I like it, hope you don't mind my reading it. If this had happened to me, it would feel like someone was spying on me. Please note, I am NOT accusing you of spying, I'm just telling you how I would feel in the same situation. Storm writes a great blog and I'm sure you've just been enjoying it, as we all do. It's just too bad that you didn't let her know that you are one of her fans. We all vent from time to time, and she was frustrated and looking for advice. She would have vented somewhere else if she had had any idea that you would read it and get your feelings hurt.

    Second, I'm sure you meant to apologize for your name-calling, too, but just got ahead of yourself. You seemed to be concerned what "those bloggers reading" thought of you. I just hope your lack of an apology didn't leave them with the impression that Storm is the better person.

    Third, this is not a contest with a winner and a runner-up. It is all about the Little Angel, and doing what's best for her. A child learns to love, and to trust, from her first relationship -- the one with her mother -- that would be you. You should be proud of how well you've done. You and Storm each have special, unique things to give to the LA. You don't have to be best friends, you only have to be civil to one another and co-operate.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Anonymous1:08 PM

    I understand y'alls confusion on me reading the "EX Family's" blogs. My intensions were to get to know PresentStorm and see what lil one does when she is not with me. Most of the entries I have read are entertaining and insightful but there has been a few that have hurt my feelings. Everyone needs to remember there are always 2 sides of a story. I don't plan on joining the blog world. I have a website and forum that keep me busy but if people insist on putting their personal lives/feelings on the web for everyone to read then that is their choice. There is no rule that says I have to let people know I am reading their blog.

    As of the 1st & 2nd place remarks that comment wasn't from me but I can see why she said it since there were remarks on Presents "bitch session" about how I am psycho and a liar and she loosely calls me a "mother". (Unless that was a typo and she meant to loosely call me "intelligent" which I can understand and admit that is much more of a true statement).

    If Present needs an apology from me for calling her a name then it is not above me to apologize for the name calling. Present - I am throwing a simple SORRY your way.

    ReplyDelete
  7. anon-i don't think it's a matter of whether present needs an apology, it's whether you even thought to offer her one in the first place. if you want to get to know her, i don't see how reading her blog is going to do it. it's too one sided, you can't get to know someone without giving back something of yourself.

    ReplyDelete
  8. The Other Anon12:28 AM

    Obviously the comment about settling in at second place was uncalled for. I do understand that and for that I apologize. And as long as each of us are asking for understanding I will ask too that you understand that I was defending my friend, just as everyone else here seems to be doing. After all you really didn’t see the hurt in her eyes like I did. I am also sorry for assuming that you called her a “bitch” however the tone of your blog does seem to suggest that is a word that was bouncing on your lips.

    Just out of curiosity.... Why is the “EX” viewed here as in the wrong because she read some very hurtful words from someone who doesn’t even know her (nor has taken the time to get to know her) and had her feelings hurt. I would figure that if each of us had been in their shoes we might not have reacted any differently. Some of us might not have acted as well when faced with it. So in defense of my friend and a very wonderful person I might add maybe just maybe people should be a little more understanding. After all put your self in her shoes and then walk for a while. Then I will welcome and maybe even accept some of these things you say.

    Mighty Mite, It’s none of my business but since really none of this is I just have to say that you are obviously very angry at anon. It is quite evident in the very poorly disguised “concerned” advice. You spoke very underhandedly and it was quite unbecoming. I do hope that one day for your own health you are able to forgive and move on. Holding a grudge can be very draining on soul and damaging to the spirit. Children catch on quicker than you think (as a mother I am sure you understand that).

    Everyone is absolutely correct the only person who is important is the Lil one… It is her feelings that need to be taken into consideration here. And don’t think for one second that she won’t feel tension when faced with it. And coming from a divorced family since I was 5. Don’t think she won’t blame herself. I actually have commended guppy and anon for their ability to keep their problems invisible to lil one. My parents did the same and I have to say that because of it I think I was able to grow up healthier because of it. Because after all the one who will truly be hurt long term by this is her. This lil one is one of the most thoughtful, warm, loving, intelligent children I have ever met and I would hate to see any damage done here. I feel like I have been truly blessed by knowing her.

    Ok, its not really about this anymore but since I have your attention: So, she has a potty phobia, I had one, both of my nieces have/had one (keep the baby away from auto flushing toilets or ww3 will ensue) and having worked in the child care industry I have seen many children with one. It is not as uncommon as people may think. Think about what you were afraid of as a child and how most of it was irrational to an adult. I just hope she wont overhear conversations about this because I know there will be some.

    On a side note… Just for Angie: did you actually read any of this stuff. Stormii is NOT taking the brunt of anything that has been going on since before she joined the family (after all how could she be the blame for a 6 year phobia). She was taking the brunt of saying some really mean things. Which I might add she was responsible for and has definitely taken responsibility for and is commended for this action. Read it again.

    Be Blessed…

    ReplyDelete
  9. wow, this stinks. Sorry PS that you're going through this. I've only always known you to be gracious, kind, concerned and honest. We all have feelings of frustration, anger, and confusion when someone does something we think might not be the best choice.

    I can see God keeps you humble, in the fact that you are able to say sorry for any hurt feelings when you really were just expressing your own, in a place that you have a right to. Our feelings aren't wrong, or dishonoring to God, it's our actions that God wants us to keep in check.. I see that you do a good job in doing so, in a situation that can never be easy..

    ReplyDelete
  10. i don't actually know present storm, guppy or mitey mite, i only visit their sites. i don't understand why both anon and other anon leaves comments without leaving a link, what are both of you trying to hide???
    ps made a comment that anon didn't like, she was expressing herself to a blogging community she has established for herself, she blogs about day to day stuff, funny, sad but very real. my opinion is the ex is viewed as wrong because she snuck around, she searched out this blog, didn't like what she read, left a comment without a link back.

    ReplyDelete

I got inky this Easter weekend and created this card. I bought this stamp awhile back from Walmart online of all places. I knew I loved the ...